Vomit!

It was on a dark and stormy day that the young princesshad a falling out with her betrothed. He had done somethingterrible, something which she could not tolerate.

Up the winding stone steps into the top room of the castle towershe ran- her sobs punctuated by loud cries her pure tears penetrating the hard rock of the castle steps........

Safely locked into the tower room behind its heavy Iron clad door the Princes wept

and wept. How could he do such a thing she cried and cried. She paced the length

of the room ripping tapestries from the wall and throwing the richly embroidered

pillows here and there, stomping her feet her tears ran like the rivers in high flood

and fell as ribbons of starlike droplets fair diamonds upon the oaken floor of the

castle tower overlooking the sea. Suddenly her fury at a climax she ripped the gold

Claddagh ring with its heart and hands and crown from her finger, looked at it for

a moment face poker red, eyes piercingly focused upon it and then in her rage she

tossed it from the open window into the ragging sea's wind blown rock frothed

waves below.....then all went quiet and calm. The wind stopped, and the princess

slumped down falling upon the thick down comforters for a deep and reassuring

sleep.

Our attention turns now to the ring. The hand crafted ring the symbol of the wayward

prince's love was chosen as a lark when the pair traveled to Galway. The couple had

taken great amusement at the tourists ogling the over produced tourist market filling

kitsch rings in the little village of the Claddagh. How camp, how kitsch how silly that

all the people just had to have that over produced ring with its heart, crown, and hands.

Some stalls in the market even sold Claddagh designed under wear and one fellow even

sold Claddagh condoms...! The couple laughed and laughed carried away with their

youthful passion and very much in love they said why not ,and, on a lark, the prince

selected a pair of Claddagh rings. Mocking the tourists the prince bending low

said to the princes in a loud and dramatic voice: Dear lady may I present you with

this w o n d e r f u l mass produced and unoriginal token of my deepest affection.

Playing along, but still deeply moved by the serious and heartfelt intent reflected from

the prince's eyes the princess now attracting the attention of the tourists replied:

Truly kind sir with this Kitsch ring the jewel of the tourists I accept thy love and

together we shall walk the earth as one.....
Back To the Ring...

Cast into the sea the ring settled to the bottom of the ocean. Once on the ocean floor

the sea creatures all gathered around to see if it might be something good to eat. The

eel curled around it and considered the shiny ring. No! he said it is such a tasteless object

that he could not find any appetite for it. The same with the lobster who said that he would never

even consider such a piece of junk jewelry for the point of his large claw.

And the flounder....well he dived into the sand in disgust having never seen such an ugly thing in his

life. But the herring is an indiscriminate fish darting quickly here and there

in search of food carelessly consuming everything which looks unusual even bare fishermen's hooks.

And so it was the herring that swished by and gobbled up the ring

without a thought. In a moment however the flighty herring made an untimely departure

from the sea....It was by way of a large gull looking for his breakfast that it went carried

aloft the herring enjoyed the wonderful view of the sea the castle and the tower with the

green fields of Ireland beyond but for a moment, and then came the end in the warm

darkness of the bird.

As the peasants say of gulls- that they have inner sight- that they can see within themselves

to learn of that which they so quickly gobble down. Sometimes rejecting that which

they have eaten they are often seen, coughing it up upon an unobservant peasant or upon a cart, a

horse or a porch.

And so our gull filled with kitsch ring stuffed herring looked inward at the fish as it

was digesting and through the ribs of the herring he gazed in his minds eye upon the

ugly Claddagh ring and was deathly sickened by it. Almost unable to fly his stomach

worked to dislodge cough up and remove the offensive ring.

As the bird dealt with his obnoxious breakfast the princes had begun to wake up.

Still distressed she sat up slowly in her bed and as she wondered what to do next

-a knock came to the door.

She opened the door to see her servant with a man from the village and she inquired

what was his concern?

He stated that the villager had important news in regard to the offense of the Prince.

The Princess asked to see this news and read the writing on a small piece of parchment

presented to her by the villager. She recognized the hand and new at once that the

message was authentic and also wondrously that it cleared the prince of the supposed

wrong doing which had caused her such grief. She sent the two away to summon the

prince, closed the tower door and sat down upon her bed looking out of the window

to the sea- her face glowing with renewed optimism and new life.

But then her mind turned to the ring. Well she said it was only a junk Claddagh and

in exchange for her renewed love she would purchase the prince another a better

ring in Celtic love knot interlace design.

Just then our seagull finally after doing all kinds of aerial acrobatics to dislodge the ring,

loops, barrel rolls and sudden stalls finally dislodged the ring from his stomach and

then with a relief filled cough tossed the herring offal covered ring out of his beak

where it just chanced to be caught ever so slightly by the sea breeze to land offal

and all upon the lap of the princess.

The princess recognized the ring immediately! Drat!!! She shouted some things just

follow you everywhere. Now she could not get that fine Celtic love knot interlace

ring. She cleaned off the offal and restored her ring to her finger. And soon thereafter

reconciled with the prince. They lived happily thereafter but the princess was forever

plagued by the Kitsch ring and so irritated by it that she kept it forever covered beneath

a red velvet ribbon tied in a knot around her finger.

The moral of this story is that for true love a gift of creativity and uniqueness is

the only true symbol. Place your own love far above the mass production of the

market place.

Conrad Jay Bladey 1997

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