Proto-Mulchian We are Glad that YOU! are here!
We know that your journey to Mulchianism has been quite an experience.
Now that you have reached our humble epicenter you must begin your
preparation for the Mulchian life way.
The path to Mulchianism is always down hill. It is also for everyone.
We are eager to find you on the mulch pile of life! So, let us begin.
Perhaps the first thing a civilian
be concerned about is clothing.
it to suit your every need and desire! It is not hard to tell of the sincere
feelings of despair that come over a mulchian unprepared in the scrape.
Even a night in the trenches would be easier!
The first thing the novice mulchian or shred will want to consider will be clothing. At your first experience or mulch you may not have had the opportunity to arrange for a suit of sack cloth or mulchian sack suit. (named of course after the drink not the material!). You may be able to obtain a piece of cloth or rag from the mulch pile owner or if you know you are going to be attending a mulch you may wish to bring along a cloth upon which to sit or with which to line your scrape . Mulch is generally quite clean and can be brushed off. The mulchian vapors however, can leave a bit of damp and sometimes civilian clothes can become stained.
Sack suit is the time honored folk garb of all Mulchians. To move beyond
of shred and become one with the mulch it is essential for you to
make for yourself one
these fine suits. It is not hard to tell of the pleasures realized by the
upon making his
her Mulchian Sack suit.
Making the Sack suit is not at all difficult. Anyone can do it. You do not even need expensive materials. All you need to have is a two pieces of burlap cloth and two pieces of cord (shown below).
fit on the top of your head such that when you tie it with a cord around your forehead
(to keep it in place) a brim of one to three inches, all around, is produced. Some of
the more meditative and reclusive Mulchians will insist on a large brim of 5-6 inches.
The size of the brim is up to you.
Larger peice of cloth is for the suit itself. Note that sack suit cloth
is not cut with
the Mulchian Sack suit properly takes a bit of work but it can be
put on the Sack suit first wrap the larger piece around your
body. (the Sack suit is
Next place the hat material on the head. Secure it to the head with the cord running around the head. Tie in place comfortably tightly. Be sure to leave a few inches for a brim. Maurice Muchaese has kindly agreed to model his Sack suit for you. He is found dressing for his Wedding mulch. (The event was the talk of Mulch A Vale in the highlands)
Upon the Mulch pile the Mulchian will wish to remain and to make sure that he or she can stay in style and, in comfort, upon the pile, and remain in the Mulch, it is important the Mulchian is properly provided with the essential mulchian kit.
few simple things can and will make a great difference in the degree and
scope of the
it right here to learn about the Mulchian
for the Mulchian- The Mulchian Kit
other essential part of the Mulchian Kit is a stout wooden
cup the Mulchmass. This should be
possible the mulchian should bring sufficient drink and food for the mulch
event. Drink can be
the mulchian is equipped with the proper Mulchian Kit the mulchian
will be a happy mulchian
true mulchian experience begins with an introduction to a nice warm
The Proper Mulch Pile
The proper mulch pile is composed
of shredded green wood.Dry or seasoned mulch will not
you have joined the others on the pile, at the
Mulch, the next thing to do is to create the mulchian scrape.
This is easily accomplished but the true mulchian will develop
a certain skill and the scrape thus produced will be a true
architectural wonder and delight. When you are beginning
try to construct a modest scrape.
are a few instructions for a Starter scrape which might
sit on the mulch pile. Compose yourself and get your bearings. Find
Once you have oriented yourself on the pile you will want to clear off
The deeper the scrape the better the warmth. Do your best to burrow right
May the Mulch Be with
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